Yes, yes, I’m well aware of how juvenile scrolling through Uncyclopedia is, but given that I’ve come to resent Moby Dick so strongly within the last 72 hours, I couldn’t help but look this up… And laugh through the side of my mouth. For a split second, I almost humored the idea of emailing the link to this article to my professor, but thought better of it. It’d be a really stupid, pointless move on my part. A moment or two of (in my not-so-humble opinion) well-deserved snark isn’t worth risking my grade or hurting the man’s feelings. He’s devoted his entire academic career to studying anything and everything Melville and he’d take it extremely personally.

Oh well, I’m sharing it here.